Consume me

Consume me Oh Lord, My God
For your ways are better than my ways
And your thoughts much higher than mine
And the light you give is much stronger
Than anything that I hold on to
Anything I leave behind
Consume me Oh Lord, My God
To understand is better than silver
And your wisdom much finer than gold
And the light you give is far brighter
Than any darkness that surrounds me
Than anything might take hold
Consume Me oh Lord, My God
Let me dwell within your presence
Let me know your ways
Let me learn to let go of my will
Let me drown in the river that is flowing from your heart
Oh Lord, My God,
Consume Me, Oh Lord, My God
Holy Fire burn my heart
Leave behind your precious gold
Holy Fire burn my heart
Leave behind your precious gold
Consume Me Oh Lord, My God

Mathew Ward

True Goodness Is Only Reached by Abandonment by Francois Fenelon

Evil circumstances are changed into good when they are received with an enduring trust in the love of God, while good circumstances may be changed into evil when we become attached to them through the love of self. Nothing in us or around us is truly good until we become detached from the world and totally abandoned to God. So, even though you are now in these bad circumstances, put yourself confidently and without reserve into His hand. I would give anything to see you in better circumstances. But if evil circumstances have taught you to be sick of the love of the world, then that is good. That love of self which the world advocates, is a thousand times more dangerous than any poison. I pray for you with all my heart.




on a lighter note Here is Princess Dannah in the middle and the other princess and Queen of Homecoming


three beauties: Dannah (now 17) on the right:

Amy Charmichael

I ran across some very good quotes by Amy Carmichael recently that I thought I would share:


"If I can easily discuss the shortcomings and the sins of any; if I can speak in a casual way even of a child's misdoings, then I know nothing of Calvary Love."

"If my attitude be one of fear and not faith about one who has disappointed me, if I cay 'Just what I expected,' if a fall occurs, then I know nothing of Calvary love."

"If I sympathize weakly with weakness and say to one who is turning back from the cross, 'pity thyself'; if I refuse such a one the sympathy that braces and the brave and heartening word of comradeship, then I know nothing of Calvary love."

Wonderful Wyoming

Wyoming was great this year.
We had a fantastic reunion with lots of history- at the Spear-O-Ranch in Wyoming.
An incredible 23 mile hike up Cloud Peak for the kids, cousins, Uncle John and Jonathan. Then later we watched the miracle of Daylon's baptism. What a great summer.








Sisters on the top of the world.




At the top of Cloud Peak.



Sharing some licorice by the lake.

Whewww!

Track season is a VERY FULL season indeed. All three of my kids are involved in different track programs. Every week there are at least 3 track meets and sometimes 4. Glad to be able to write again. Thanks for your prayers:
Darragh was accepted to Capenray, Australia- to enter January 2011!!! Congrats Darragh! You have made it over some hurdles this year. I am so excited for you. Living in Australia is going to be SO good for you.
Dannah made state in pole vaulting. ONE more meet to try to make it over 11' this year. We are so blessed that she made it to state - as 2 of the best girls in the state happen to be in our district. Congrats!
Daylon was asked to give a speech at the "Bagels and Books" breakfast for the Gresham/Barlow educational foundation. YAY. DO good little brother! Congrats!

Prayer

Lots going on. Thanks for your prayers!
Janie

Reflections

These are my meditations for the week- maybe even month.

The Lord is near to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him. The Lord watches over all who love Him.
Psalm 145

The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.
Psalm 145

He will call upon me and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
Psalm 91:15

God is our refuge and strength an ever present help in trouble.
Psalm 46:1

You will make known to me the path of life; In your presence is the fullness of joy. In your right hand there are pleasures forever.
Psalm 16:11

Honestly

Honestly, I am embarrassed to have not posted for so long. I have begun a poem, a story, a Bible truth I have meditated on but have not finished any of them. Sooooo...... Hmm...... Well. I guess I will tell you in a rough form what I have been contemplating recently....~some of Jesus' last words before He went to the cross. As He was praying for His disciples He said to the Father in John 17:12
"While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. "
I never thought about it before. I asked myself What did Jesus mean by protecting them? ...keeping them safe? Why is that so important to me? Because, I also have children- physical and spiritual.... Will I be able to say the same thing when I am about to die and am turning the kingdom over to the next soldiers?
Some answers came a few verses later in John 17:15-18 : "My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world."
So, I am not to protect them from being in the world, but as they go in the world let them be taught what it means to become set apart. How amazing that Jesus also had to pray for the Father to protect them from the evil one. WOW. SO if Jesus had to pray it then I must pray it for all of those the Lord has given me.
Well, lots to think about. What are the ways Jesus protected them...besides teaching them truth, praying for them, becoming set apart Himself as He walked in the world in order to show them how to do that themselves ( vs. 19 For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified)? Who all would that include- just the 12 or more? What does it mean to protect them from the evil one?... that they would not turn against Jesus? ...that they would always walk in His ways?....that they would not fall into sin?
I suppose we all must ask ourselves this question. Who are those He has truly given us to watch over and do we get sidetracked with others He has not given us? We should not feel we must take care of everyone- for we cannot!



Libby, I would like your thoughts too on all of this. (love ya girl!)

ps... this was written while boys were wrestling, guitars were playing and husband was munching and talking. HA. I hope it makes sense.

More Sudan Pics

I haven't had time to write. Maybe tonight.
Here are a few pictures of Africa. The Sudanese are amazing! Sorry but there were several more pictures I had wanted to put on the post but Blogger was acting up on me.


Pumping the well with the children.


Enjoying filling the water containers with the children.


I have been in numerous outdoor squatty potties over the years having lived in China, even some with millions of maggots but never one with a grass thatched roof so I was excited to use this bathroom. I jumped in and before i could even begin my duty I heard something above my head moving- either slithering or crawling- I looked up and I do believe (Jonathan seems to doubt me) I saw the belly of a snake- YIKES. Now, I am NOT Joy Forney. I have not completely overcome my fear of snakes nor of big spiders so I ran. Later, i was told that the day before there had been a poisonous snake just about 20 feet away from the hut.



Here are a couple of homes nearby CLIS_ Christian Leadership Institute of Sudan
Here is a young handsome 13 year old. I took this picture so that Daylon could see a sudanese 13 year old boy.

The Tree

This poem is in honor of the Bride: Good Shepherd Community Church ~ all of my brothers and sisters who have weathered the storms of “winter” standing firm, immovable serving and loving others, honoring Jesus in word and deed in the midst of this past year’s hardships.



( I tried to post this written as a poem, but the blogger wouldn't let me- so just bear with me here)


In the peaceful still and early hour firm but delicate, gray black bark shaded branches reaching outward from their body sparsely dotted with winter leaves, three dimensional in scope remain against the backdrop of an icy blue sky holding up blustery clouds with mingling hues of blue and gray like distant dark ocean waves.

A story conveying a life which is resolute to stand the trials of winter~ steadfast, staying its ground, residing in its intended purpose. Whether unnoticed or perceived
preserving the design for which it was created~ immovable, solid, unyielding to the commands of nature,yet of humble disposition .

A casual observer deciding to peer more closely delights in its beauty which another day another backdrop reveals the same tree a different beauty.

The Gospel of John

When was the last time you read the gospel of John? WOW. Powerful. Impacting. No one could have ever made up that story. Kings food is what I have been eating. Rich delicacies, tasty treats... no... I would say a seven course meal that my soul has feasted on this past month- and I am only on chapter 13. Yummy, I just can't wait for breakfast,, no maybe I'll make it a midnight snack tonight. I just can't get enough of it. This kind of food is addicting. The powerful presence of Jesus. Reality of Jesus lighting my soul. There is more of me to be taken by Him. - Or according to John, darkness to be sonlit by Him. Today I savored the passage where Jesus says "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it." (John 14:12-)
NO NO NO. These aren't just black letters on a white page of paper. Jesus meant it. All to bring glory to God... to reveal just who Jesus really is. The Father. They are One. Well, go read John. Taste again for yourself. meditate slowly. allow the pictures to form in your head. Be there.

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Sudan, here I come!

In a few days I will embark on a new journey. I will have the privilege of meeting Sudanese women right there in Sudan. I know I will learn so much from them.

Here is a FUN picture of some students having a blast. I hope I get to see and experience a sight like this.

The Sharks Teeth

LOL part 4
Mindy recently launched into a new relationship with God. No more just “doing” church for social life. She was now experiencing real life, understanding truth and grace as God’s child, friend of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit who lived in her. “I believe in God” was a term she once used but nowadays she believed God and there was a difference between the two. Recently she had experienced victories through trials by learning to walk by faith and not sight. She desperately desired the eyes of her heart to be fixed on Jesus, not wanting to be one who “holds to a form of godliness but denies its power” (2 Tim3:5). Her marriage, family and friendships seemed like battle fields at times. Often she felt lonely, broken, and battered but at the core level she was being held up by Christ’s strength.
She sipped her Starbucks coffee latte and reclined on the cushioned chair just to see her friend Breanna walk out the door past the large storefront window. She felt safer without gossipy ears, and then leaned over and quietly revealed to our friend Agnes, and me her innermost thoughts. “Honestly, there are times when my focus becomes muddled and I fall into discouragement. I just don‘t have all the answers and life can sometimes feel scary.”
“We will all have hardships in life which lead us to believe lies from the enemy,” Agnes reaffirmed her. “Have you ever seen an optical illusion?”
“You mean those pictures that hang on the wall that make people look like idiots by blank staring until finally they see a hidden picture?”
“Somewhat… I am thinking of the kind that deceive you to think there is something there that isn’t. I imagine that if there can be optical illusions with our physical eyes there can be with our spiritual eyes as well.”
“What do you mean by optical illusions, Agnes?” I inquired.
“Satan deceives us when we plunge into believing there is no hope.” Agnes began with a detailed story about her young family who had set off on a lovely jaunt one Sunday afternoon. They had walked the two mile hike downtown to investigate the summer art festival on display. On the return trip they happened upon a sidewalk painting which blocked their path toward home, something her three year old daughter had never seen until then. She described it.
“ The painting portrayed broken bricks in the sidewalk which opened up to a deep sea and a large shark leaping out. The illusion appeared very real to all of us but especially to my two and a half foot tall daughter who screamed and ran to her daddy for safety.

He picked her up in his strong arms, quietly and calmly spoke to her, telling her it wasn’t true. He explained, ‘We will walk right past this “so called“ shark, even on top of it as we head towards home.‘ “He knew the truth she could not perceive with her limited knowledge and experience. Her childlike trust was tested. She whimpered as he took her closer to the delusion. It took her daddy one step onto the broken bricks and she scrambled to higher ground, twisting herself to the top of his shoulders. Her wide frightened eyes scrutinized the top of the water. When they stepped right onto the sharks head she finally could see with the perspective of her father. As he jumped up and down holding her far above its sharp teethed mouth she too could see how flat it really was. The stillness of her body showed us it had lost its power over her. Finally with eagerness she too wanted down to step on the sharks head.” “I wonder if she had continued to believe that lie without the security of her father’s arms would she have ever moved in the direction towards home?”
“Unlikely,” Mandy and I said simultaneously.
It was a terrific story but Mindy’s cool nature expressed she was a little stumped. It was not connecting to what they had been talking about.
Agnes moved on, “So too it is the same as with the eyes of our hearts. It’s as if there is a scene that projects onto the screen of our minds…a misunderstanding of the present circumstances, a child perhaps in rebellion, or husband veering toward seclusion, maybe those whom you’ve served faithfully in church walking out the door, never to return….and its hard to understand. Perhaps the shark we see is our perception of what the future holds. The friend holding unbelievable bitterness toward you becomes an image in your mind that leaves you insecure, vulnerable, or exposed. Or that husband that won’t speak to you becomes a setting of future loneliness, without relationship, significance or love.”
Mindy finally blinked, scooted back to settle more solidly in her chair and lay her hands in her lap showing she was computing the data. “I know the evil one also loves to play scenes from the past… like a movie being played over and over again so that it grips you from ever moving forward.”
“Absolutely, Mindy. And does your movie come with audio?”
“Oh yes.”
“And what lies are whispered in your ears from the enemy?”
“He tells me I’ve blown it too big to ever move forward. The screen depicts too high of a wall between myself and my husband. ‘Nothing can really ever break that down’ says the devil.” She lowered her head and took a sip of the coffee.
“Do you believe it to be a fortress too strong to break through?”
“At times.” There was a moment of silence. “Do you have any truth to give me?”
Agnes leaned over and rested her forehead onto her palms. One would think we had confused or frustrated her, but Agnes lifted her face a moment later. She pierced us with her serious expression. “Listen, girls, I am no counselor but I do know the best counselor there is. The Holy Spirit who lives in you. Who better than the one who knows you best.” She paused. “He does not promise quick solutions and answers to all of our problems. Sometimes the best answer in a given moment is ‘patience.’ “He uses His precious word and yes, people like us to help you walk through it, but don’t let a person stand between you and Him. God did not make everything easy for us. It‘s all about relationship. We must seek Him for the answers and in the process we get to know Him better.”
“Now back to it. Reflect for a moment on the details of my story: My daughter, Jill had to pass the shark if she wanted to keep heading home. It was the father’s arms she ran to for security . Her daddy carefully carried her into the trial in the direction toward home. Do you see the connections? We must pass through certain trials in life in order to ‘head towards home’ …that is …to be conformed to the image of Christ….to perceive as the father perceives. Jill’s perspective changed after seeing from her father’s viewpoint. And her experience gave her a greater understanding of how her eyes can be fooled to believing things which are not true. Isn’t that the same with us when we encounter spiritual roadblocks? So my advice to you is first to run to the Father’s arms. Let Him lift you up with scripture and truth so you can gain his perspective. I love God’s word in 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 ~ ‘For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
She took a deep breath and added “When I take every thought captive in reference to the verse I also like to include ‘demolishing arguments and every point of pride ~ toward those He lives in’. Thus I train my mind to love, trust and believe in my family of God. ”
“I heard it once said that we are to recognize the wallpaper of lies lining the walls of our minds, tear it down and then put up new wallpaper with God’s truth.”
“Yep. But do understand this is all done by His grace. He knows that becoming like Christ is a process, not an event.”
Agnes took a little pouch out of her purse and emptied the contents onto the table. Several little pieces scattered toward the edge of the table which were stopped by her quick hand. We looked closely at all the pieces trying to guess what they were? “Do you always carry crazy little pieces of metal around in your purse?”
“Hee hee!” she laughed with amusement at the disturbed looks on our faces.
(to be continued)

Summer Family Fun

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Nineteen Years of Marriage !!!!

In light of our recent anniversary I wanted to take a moment to write briefly about Jonathan. In honor of You, My husband ~
How grateful I am to have lived 19 years with you. I can’t think of a better companion with which to have spent these latter years of my life. There are a lot of awesome people I have met in this life but you have been the single most influential person outside the precious, powerful grace and goodness of Jesus.
I remember the day I prayed and wrestled with God over the option and idea of marriage. Can God really give his anointing over a marriage when it is “better to be single than married”- as Paul states. He has taught me so much about Himself through you. I delight in you! - You are FUN, funny, risk-taking, adventurous, easy going, athletic~ with high pain tolerance-(that has spilled over into the rest of life), positive, peaceable, creative, brilliant, hard working, not demanding, kind, pursuer of good health and eating habits, cheerful, lover of God’s word, forgetful of other’s wrongs- forgiving, an incredible Good Shepherd- (it’s fun to see you with your sheep- literally!), discerning, caring, genuinely interested in people…, sexy….what more could I say.
It’s amazing to think out of 19 years I have never lost attraction to you- How can that be!!?? I never knew it could be that way. You have cherished me even when I didn’t feel worthy of being cherished. You have been faithful to be the biblical man who loves his wife. God has been good to call me alongside of you to minister together for Him as imperfect as we both are! Thank you for this privilege to raise our children together as well as God’s children.
Thanks for being you.

Here is a pic of our anniversary after a LONG hike over the mountain pass in Montana- eating at a Burger Joint- - we were STARVING.

Praying Wives.

Ahhh Summer is here. I gotta story working in my brain and heart. But it will wait for at least another week.
Meanwhile we just started another six weeks of Praying Wives. A small group of women growing and learning how to pray for their husbands. These women are paired together and they call each other once a week to pray twenty minutes for their beloveds. It is fun to see how many women really want to be involved. I am looking forward to seeing what more God is going to do in these women's lives this next six months.

I was Praying awhile back for something in particular about another person close to me and wondering why hadn't God answered yet? Why was this on hold to seeing good decisions in this persons life. i felt impatient! But while I was praying God gave me a picture in my mind of a broken watch with all the pieces scattered. Now Janie you wouldn't pray for the crystal to be put on and demand it now(!) would you? No, all of the pieces would need time to be put together so that they would function properly when the final piece - the crystal was put in. So you can have patience- sometimes as we pray for those we love we must wait patiently for the experiences, knowledge, and proper faith to be put into place so that the polished finish can be in set in motion towards its use.
Ok- Jonathan is waiting to go to lunch and I wrote this all so quickly- rough draft you know.
God bless!

Good 'Ol Texas

Ok. I know it has been a long time and I've got lots on my mind that I would love to share. Yes. Pouring myself out for those things which are worthy. Loving my kids. Thankful, oh so thankful for them. God is good.

I haven't given up on writing my LOL part4. But priorities are priorities, they are joys as well.

Meanwhile, Dannah and I took a break and went to Texas to visit my sister and good 'ol Texas friends. I miss them Oh so much as well as TEXAS. I have never considered myself a True Texan simply because I have never suffered the symptoms of Texamania which are:

1. A growing sensation of unhappiness whenever a foot crosses the border from Texas to another state.

2. A strong need to secede from the United States.

3. Consideration that everything is bigger and better in Texas- (however portions of food in a restaurant really are bigger in Texas!!)

4. A strong need to dine out every night.

- I am sure I could think of more if I had time. One thing I do miss is the heat and sunshine.

This is my "truth" friend. Shana. She is not afraid of speaking the truth to me. Everyone needs a truth friend. - And I love her as my sister:

My physical sister, Becky. I love her much!

Waiting

Still waiting for time to write. . . but until then here are pictures of some of my favorite kids.